awk like austin

If this is you whenever you write about you...

Hire me.

Services start simply and cheaply at $35 and improve from there.


word art

$35 — Your personal tagline or "quote" written, designed, and  served up in a .png to post, share, incorporate in your online dealings or print to put on your fridge.  Want more than one? Another $35.

wee lil' example

wee lil' example


icons package

$55 — The Book, The 'Gram. Twitter. Pinterest. If you gotta have a blurb for social media,  blurb good. I'll renovate your social media account "abouts" so that across all platforms, YOU look like you're living your best life.  Up to 3 lines or within character limits for 2 social media accounts of your choosing.


thirst trap package

$69 — I'll make you look like the sexiest, flexiest would-be bae alive. Trust me to write up the words that'll make 'em swipe right and keep them DMs droppin'.  I will provide 1 dating site profile with a direct message "script"-- because "Hi, Beautiful" is played  and "WYD" is for fukbois. (retainer is available)



$75 —  This is an option for those who are always in programs, on panels, or just doing the type of cool shit where they are being introduced and thusly, must have an intro. Usually 2 to 3 lines, but no more than 100 words. (sold separately from the "ABOUT ME" bio) 






$125 — This is your bio.  The thing that will  open doors OR close them if it's sucky. Use this for your personal website, your resume, your PR kit, a first draft for your obituary (a little dark, but .... hey)  Using a proprietary questionnaire that will explore your fears, hopes, and dreams we'll engineer a brilliant bio.  1 webpage or self-mantra up to 300 words.  



about us 

$145 — The bio for businesses, entrepreneurs, and wanna be LLCs . This is your about section, and it matters. A lot. We will explore who you are, what you are, and devise the most tactically delicious way to woo your customers or potential clients with words.  1 webpage or company mission up to 400 words.  



$175 — This is the bio AND the intro for individuals. If you're the one who's always out in the world, tipping your crown,  this  package will serve your royalty. You will receive 1 bio up to 300 words and  1 intro write-up which compliments but does not mimic your solo-mantra. 


all the way up PACKAGE

$195 — This is the bio AND the intro for founders, entrepreneurs and businesses. This is for move-makers who need their "about us" section to pop and keep popping when they're presented on panels and publications. You will receive 1 bio up to 400 words and  1 intro write-up which compliments but does not mimic your business manifesto.